September 14, 2014
A family friend and veteran mediator once said, there are three truths to every story; your truth, someone else’s truth, and the real truth. I love this statement because it allows us to take a broad perspective on all disagreements. Each of us have unique points of view based on our life experiences, values, beliefs and motives. When we consider that there are two sides to every story, we can find a workable solution to any conflict.
Conjure up a challenging time in your life where you felt personally hurt or ‘wronged’ by someone else. Perhaps it was a friend, co-worker, roommate, family member or significant other. A large amount of your frustration likely came from not understanding or agreeing with the actions of another individual.
Even more challenging can be when a loved one or family member is caught in a disagreement with someone else. Do you intervene and bring your perspective into the discussion, or do you let them handle it on their own?
Regardless of the specifics of the challenging time you are dealing with, have dealt with in your past or will deal with in your future, here are a few solutions to get through with kindness, respect and clarity.
Choose a mantra
This is one of my favourite phrases to repeat to myself during challenging times. It helps me to avoid getting dragged into petty disagreements and to take the high road.
"Life’s tough in the fast lane, kid."
This is something my Dad used to say to me when I would make a stink about not getting my way. I repeat it to myself all the time when I need a kick in the pants to keep on going. You are faced with a challenge you can step up, grow, change and move on or wither.
Give yourself some lovin’
During times of challenge, eating healthy and taking care of yourself can fall by the wayside. What do you love to do that just feels good? This could be your favourite cycle class, a hot bath, a massage, journalling or chatting with a close friend. Treat yourself well to feel well.
The Bottom Line
You can’t beat crazy. From time to time you may deal with a very irrational individual. It can be challenging not to defend and justify yourself against their claims. The best practice in this scenario is to let them sink their own ship. Do not enter into a fight that is not worth fighting, stick to your truth and rise above.
Above all, make the choice not to shy away from crucial confrontation. By respecting another person’s truth, staying true to your own views and working together to find compromise you can create peace on all fronts. It takes patience, putting your ego aside and showing up authentically.
Yours in peace,